the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
