my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
