all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize