i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
