my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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