the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry about my life...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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