We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
