is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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