So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
