he shaved USA in his pubs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
