I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
