just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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