last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
