He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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