You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
