Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
