I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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