Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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