ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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