Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
