I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
