I think scott just propositioned me for sex
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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