I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He better not be in your backpack
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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