So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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