Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
