She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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