I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
