You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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