alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
