I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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