He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
smell my finger.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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