I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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