Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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