The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
