Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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