garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
