Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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