i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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