that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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