theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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