you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
