I just threw up on my dentist
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize