Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
a search helicopter?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
