First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
