Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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