that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
