I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
