Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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