so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
