He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
