he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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