Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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