therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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