I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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