But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
