Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
