According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
