Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Plan B is the new Plan A
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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