I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
