My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize