Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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