Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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