the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They should really pass out barf bags in church
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
