What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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