Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
