Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
