I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
