I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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