My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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