I'm gonna have a badass scar
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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