...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
