im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
