I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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